During a weight loss journey, it is best to surround yourself with people that will support you in your endeavor. The process of surrounding yourself with supportive people can be very powerful as you walk your path towards healthy living.
In my personal opinion, unhealthy eating is an addiction just like smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohol. Any of them, abused over and above moderation, has the strong potential of turning into an addiction. I am not a doctor but once the addiction kicks in, it starts to become very difficult to change directions and do something better or healthier for yourself. This is the reason I have come to realize that lifestyle change partners are very important to your success and to your ability to stay on track.
The following are the people that have helped me through my journey so far.
- My Spouse: A spouse that travels the weight loss journey with you can be very powerful. They can help with keeping the refrigerator and the pantry clear of foods and snacks that detour your journey. They can nudge you in a positive direction on a daily basis to help keep you on track. And they can encourage you to make good choices especially if they are on the journey with you. Side note, make sure this does not cause a strain on the relationship. Sometimes spouses do not want to make those tough choices. In other words the choice to lose weight is really a personal decision and the spouse is there to support, not to be your prison guard.
- My Friends: Friends can also be a great support. They can also be a detriment. Be careful with this one. Make sure you know what you are getting into as it relates to friends and health choices. They will not always have your best interest at heart. So be prepared. When going out with friends make sure you have a plan. Also, tell them about your challenges and what you are trying to do. If they are true friends, they will help you in your journey.
- My Son: The reason my son is on this list is because he is truly a passionate motivator. He also was trying to lose weight and became addicted to the teachings of a gentleman by the name of Gary Brecka. My son passed alot of his learning and understanding on to me and they have been very beneficial. The other thing that my son and I did was to create a daily challenge. We created a shared spreadsheet that listed a few healthy challenges and some daily measurements. And together we held each other accountable for 60 days. It worked well.
- My Physician: This one is all about including your doctor in your journey. Couple of reasons: they can give very good advice based on your current state. And they can make sure that you are traveling down the path that represents a healthy and safe path. Plus it’s good to make sure you are not developing any issues as you lose weight and exercise.
- My Dietitian: This last one is one that I did not imagine myself ever doing. It was a recommendation of my doctor to get the help of a dietitian. But after several sessions I have changed my mind about working with an eating professional. She was able to help me make sense of how some approaches work and other approaches simply fail. She also pointed me in the right direction on some healthy recipes and she is very motivating and persuasive.
After about 90 days of practicing and implementing the above actions, they began to work. Over that 90 day period I lost 35 lbs. But then came the next challenge. Sticking to it and not going off the rails like I usually do.
I did not want to list only the actions that I tried so here are some other ways to find support that can be very beneficial:
- Local peer support groups: Participating in a weight loss program with a group of friends or like-minded individuals can provide motivation, encouragement, and accountability. Sharing experiences and challenges with others who are on a similar journey can be incredibly helpful.
- Clinic-based groups: Some clinics or healthcare facilities offer weight loss support groups. These groups are often led by professionals and provide a structured environment for sharing tips, discussing challenges, and celebrating successes.
- Online forums: There are numerous online communities and forums dedicated to weight loss. These platforms allow you to connect with people from around the world, share your progress, ask questions, and receive advice. Look for reputable forums related to weight loss or healthy living.
- Apps: There are several mobile apps designed specifically for weight loss. These apps often include features like calorie tracking, exercise routines, and community support. Connecting with others through these apps can keep you motivated and accountable. The one I have been using is called MyNetDiary.
- Commercial programs: Consider joining a commercial weight loss program such as Weight Watchers (now known as WW) or Jenny Craig. These programs offer structured plans, coaching, and group meetings to help you stay on track.
- Bariatric surgery support groups: If you’ve undergone bariatric surgery (such as gastric bypass or sleeve gastrectomy), seek out support groups specifically for post-surgery patients. These groups can provide valuable insights and emotional support during your weight loss journey.
- Start a support group: If you can’t find an existing group that suits your needs, consider starting your own weight loss support group. Invite friends, family, or colleagues who share similar goals. Meeting regularly to discuss progress, challenges, and strategies can be empowering.
Remember that everyone’s weight loss journey is unique, so find the type of support that resonates with you. Whether it’s in-person, online, or a combination of both, having a supportive community can make the process more enjoyable and successful.
Some Common Detours to Success
I thought it might be helpful to list some common detours that can hinder your success. The psychology of weight loss works against you in some ways, but it can work for you in others. In order to get past your roadblock, you’ll first need to figure out specifically, what that roadblock is.
All-or-Nothing Thinking
This one is a big one for me. If you find yourself walking a thin line between sticking to your food plan perfectly or falling off the wagon completely you may be experiencing a cognitive distortion called all-or-nothing thinking.
People who experience all-or-nothing thinking while trying to lose weight believe that they are either a complete success or a total failure based on their food choices.
Studies have shown that an all-or-nothing thinking style is closely linked to a perceived lack of control overeating and an inability to maintain a healthy weight.
If you practice all-or-nothing thinking, you probably struggle to return to a healthy eating pattern after enjoying a small indulgence. Instead, you are likely to throw in the towel and overeat based on the assumption that your diet is a complete failure.
Negative Body Image
If you are trying to change your body size and shape, you may be less than satisfied with how it looks in its current state. Of course, there is nothing wrong with wanting to improve your health or your appearance. But if your body image is negative, it can hinder your progress and damage your self-esteem.
For some people, a negative body image is tied to self-worth. They may think that their worth is determined by body, shape, size, or the food that they eat.
This can get in the way of success when trying to develop healthy eating habits or reach and maintain a healthy weight. In addition, a negative body image is linked to unhealthy eating patterns and other problems.
Those experiencing distressing preoccupations about weight and shape may also experience embarrassment in public, avoidance of activity due to self-consciousness, and excessive feelings of fatness after eating. They may focus on low-calorie foods instead of nutrient-rich ones and label foods as “good” or “bad”.
It is not clear if a negative body image leads to unhealthy eating or if unhealthy eating leads to a negative body image. What is clear is that feeling an intense dissatisfaction with your body can stand in the way of reaching a healthy weight, and more importantly, damages your mental health and self-esteem.
Stress
There is a good reason that comfort food got its name. For most people, eating feels good. And in times of stress, some people use food as the best way to calm their emotions. While this occasional strategy is not uncommon in people of all body shapes and sizes, it can create problems if you are trying to lose weight or if eating is your only way to cope with stress.
This one is also one that I struggle with. There is an equilibrium between feeling stress and trying to use food to remove that stress.
Depression
Researchers are not clear if depression causes weight gain or if depression prevents weight loss, but many scientists believe there is a link. And even among normal-weight people, depression can be problematic regarding weight.
In some people, depression can lead to a lack of appetite and weight loss. Research has suggested simply the perception of being overweight increases psychological distress and may lead to depression.
Depression-related symptoms like sleeplessness or fatigue can make weight loss more difficult. And some commonly prescribed antidepressants can cause you to gain weight as well. If you are experiencing depression, it’s vital to speak to your doctor or a mental health practitioner. Addressing your mental health is much more urgent than weight loss.
Tips to Overcoming Barriers and Detours
You may have found that one or several of the common psychological barriers to weight loss look familiar to you. It is not unusual to experience multiple hurdles on your journey to a healthy weight. But these roadblocks don’t need to prevent your success.
Each of the tips and suggestions below can address multiple barriers. These suggestions are also healthy strategies for lifelong wellness that carry no side effects and are almost all completely free. Consider giving one or more of these solutions a try.
Keep a Journal
Avoiding stress is not always possible. But you can identify stress triggers and try to avoid certain situations or people that undermine your success. Keeping a journal may be helpful in the process. In fact, research has indicated that keeping a journal can double your weight loss results.
There are different ways to use a journal. For instance, you can log your food intake with a journal. But you can also use it to write out your thoughts and identify stress triggers. Use the journal to keep track of any situations or foods that may feel triggering to you.
Make Small Changes
If all-or-nothing thinking prevents you from sticking to your food plan, consider taking small steps and setting short-term goals. First, identify one specific healthy change that is reasonable and attainable. Remind yourself that perfection is not the goal, but, rather, any attempt to nudge yourself in the right direction is progress that you should be proud of.
Perhaps you can choose to walk for 15 minutes after dinner each day. Set a goal to focus on that target for a week. If you keep a journal, jot down notes each day about different ways you have succeeded in keeping that goal front of mind. And give yourself credit. Remember that taking a small step is better than taking no action.
Taking small steps can also help you avoid making too many changes at once. It can be easy to get overwhelmed if you do too much at once and then lose motivation. On the other hand, if you can make a small change with success, you will feel a sense of accomplishment, which motivates you to keep going.
Listen to Self-Talk
Do you pay attention to the messages you send to yourself throughout the day? These pervasive thoughts may be building a roadblock to your wellbeing.
Those prone to a negative body image may find themselves repeating negative messages about their body throughout the day. Phrases like “I’m so fat” or “I’m so out of shape” said out loud or in your head can undermine your ability to take a healthy step when the opportunity presents itself.
Self-talk is another way that all-or-nothing thinking can come into play. For instance, you might find that you beat yourself up for reaching unreasonably high standards or goals you set for yourself.
Take a week or two to listen to your inner dialogue. Identify one or two messages that may be encouraging a negative self-image and write them down. You can then challenge them or replace these messages with a powerful mantra. Phrases such as “my body is strong,” “I am enough,” or “I have come a long way” are mantras that are commonly used to boost confidence.
Learn Relaxation Techniques
If you can’t avoid the people or places that cause stress, relaxation techniques can be a healthy alternative for managing emotions during stressful times.
Scientists have found that a specific relaxation technique, guided imagery, can help with weight loss. You can work with a therapist to learn guided imagery, but it’s possible to practice it on your own. It takes some time to master, but guided imagery may be the most effective technique for weight loss if your emotions are causing you to eat during stressful times.
Prioritize Sleep
Researchers have repeatedly found a link between sleep habits, weight gain, and unhealthy eating behaviors. So, one of the most straightforward and relaxing steps to overcome psychological barriers is to improve your bedtime habits.
Try to go to bed at the same time each night, rise at the same time each morning, and make your bedroom a sanctuary for sleep. Remove electronics (television, computer, cell phone charger) and do as much as you can to reduce noise.
Get light-blocking drapes or buy an inexpensive sleep mask so that you experience total darkness at night. Some people also lower the thermostat to promote restful sleep.
Seek Help
Many experts are specially trained to deal with depression, past trauma, and other issues that may be standing in the way of weight loss success. You can find a behavioral health specialist skilled at treating the underlying emotional causes of overeating and weight gain.
Your healthcare provider may be able to provide a referral. If not, there are other ways to find a therapist. The American Psychological Association offers resources to help consumers get the help they need, including a locator service to find practitioners in your area.
If your circumstances prevent seeing a behavioral health specialist, consider using one of the newly developed apps or tech tools that provide mental health counseling via text, Skype, or Facetime. These therapy services often offer relief for much less money than face-to-face counseling.
In Summary
I listed partners that I have teamed up with. Yours will most likely be different. Focus on what is best for you and do not forget to experiment and try different methods.
If you are struggling unsuccessfully to lose weight, any one of these mental barriers to weight loss may be to blame. It is also possible that your body is already at a healthy weight and weight loss is unnecessary. So you may want to evaluate why you feel weight loss is necessary.
If you feel that weight loss is warranted, use the psychology of weight loss for you rather than against you. Think about why your roadblock or “wall” is in place, and then take steps to get the help you need to reach and maintain a healthy weight.
Also remember why you are doing what you are doing. You may be working on your health for a very specific reason. Work to keep that reason in the forefront.
